Letter to Dad...

Dear Craig,

It’s yours truly, your omniscient narrator. The words today are about your only child, Nyesha. November 1993 was the last time you two were able to physically hold hands. She was only three years of age, not aware of what had just taken place. Today she is always told you always did right, and you were the father that always did what needed to be done. For her mother however, you did not choose the best path. Everyone always speaks on how your physical existence would have meant so much to you, and you would be so proud. But who knows the real truth? It is only you who can make that decision. Would she have the same interests and lifestyle if you were here to physically and emotionally guide her? An epileptic lesbian trying to reach the best that she can receive. What about her ability to drive, would you have taught her at a young age so she would be able to hit the streets with the crazy New Yorkers as she lived here for more than 21 years of her life? And her lifestyle choice? Engaged with a ring of promise and almost 100% happy with a woman four years older than her, very nearly living paycheck to paycheck, five years after high school and still studying for her B.A in English, would you have tried to change her regime? She has never visited your site of commemoration, only because she never knew of the locality, as both your mother and your daughter’s mother told her in November 2012 “it was not the best thing to know”. What a piece of bullshit that was. Maybe her connection would have been stronger, as when a family member speaks of you, she does not have much to say. The main question that remains unanswered is, what exactly happened? As two different stories are explicated from your mother and Nyesha’s mother, what is the factual answer? What led up to the shots grazing your head as they did? Why were you dealing with those guys as you were, was it the “fad” of the 90’s and you could not find another way out? She has never spoken negatively of your choice of actions, but only questions herself “what if he were here?” You two will meet again, but for now, keep giving her your spirit.